Cinemaniac Reviews

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Archive for the month “September, 2011”

30 Sep 2011

Review: THE PERFECT STORM

Bottom Line: The imperfect film.

Ethel Shatford: “If it was good news, he would’ve called us.”
The thing that really irks me about THE PERFECT STORM is that I had read that it was a disaster film (and it’s made pretty much clear in the title), but the actual disaster didn’t get started for a whole forty minutes, which almost brought me to the point of thinking that “Perfect Storm” was some kind of metaphor. The basic layout is as follows: 1-30 minutes – characters are introduced with enough relationship statuses, innuendos, overly charismatic drama to create an entire soap opera; 31-40 minutes – the characters leave their spouses/fiancées, board the ship, but continue with the non sequiturs and double entendres that make you groan, “Enough already!”; 41-120 minutes – over an hour of TITANIC-esque intensity and dazzling (but terrifying, considering this is based on a true story) disaster scenes–which is exciting, but it makes you think, “We go from soap opera…to disaster?”, because the beginning does NOT make sense to the rest of the film; 121-128 minutes – the film is coming to an end, with slightly less intensity, but thankfully no “return of the soap opera”; 129 minutes – the film’s over, folks, you can go home now. That’s the gist of this mediocre movie. It’s just what you expect of a shipwreck film.
Captain Billy Tyne: “I always find the fish!  Always!”
GRADE: C

Posted in Action, Thriller, [Alpha], [Film Reviews]
30 Sep 2011

Review: LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE

Bottom Line: All too funny, with surreal laughs drawn more from the oddness of Alan Arkin than that of Steve Carrell.

Olive: [takes out her headphones]
Grandpa: [stops swearing briefly]
Olive: “What are you guys talking about?”
Grandpa: [after a moment of thought to come up with an excuse] “Politics.”
Olive: “Oh.”

LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE is an independent film, humorous in its own dark little way. Though the film comes across mostly a drama, it has its funny moments, and all of the humor is either subtle, clever, depressing, or a combination of the three. Though Steve Carrell, now known for his wittingly hilarious role in TV’s comedy THE OFFICE, appears as one of the more major characters, Alan Arkin (if any cast member) seems to be the one who draws the most audience laughs. In fact, Carrell delivers most likely the least humorous role. Though he does definitely still have his humor, with a big nod to the scene at the dinner table near the beginning. Other than that, LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE is a heartwarming, sometimes weepy, and ultimately feel-good film. I highly doubt there has been one road movie as good and unpredictable as this since NATIONAL LAMPOON’S VACATION.

Richard: “Everybody just pretend to be normal.”

GRADE: A

Posted in Comedy, Drama, [Alpha], [Film Reviews]
28 Sep 2011

Review: PLANET OF THE APES

Bottom Line: Ouch.  This insult to the classic of the same name kind of hurts.

Attar: “Get your stinking hands off me, you damn dirty human!”
Tim Burton’s re-imagination of the 1968 science fiction journey is nothing like the original. That’s not to say it’s a bad film–but it’s surely not good, either. The director, who is clearly known for being quirky, dark, and (usually) brilliant, just tried too hard with his unique interpretation of PLANET OF THE APES, and it ultimately became a so-so production. Don’t get me wrong–this is a decent film, as a stand-alone sci-fi work of its own; but as a remake, it isn’t anything good. And really, if the film was looked at a second time before put in the cinemas, the last scene should have definitely been removed from the final picture, as it is utterly confusing, and it makes no sense. Without spoiling how the film does end, even the “deus ex machina”-type scene that was right before it would have made a much better ending.
Ari: “It’s disgusting, the way we treat humans.”
GRADE: C

Posted in Action, Science Fiction, [Alpha], [Film Reviews]
26 Sep 2011
2 Comments

Review: THE OTHERS

Bottom Line: American horror film from Spanish director is like The Sixth Sense in reverse.

Grace: “Where’s my daughter?  What have you done with my daughter?”
Anne: “Are you mad?  I am your daughter!”
Featuring Nicole Kidman as the lead character, THE OTHERS is an eerie, suspenseful, creepy blend of horror and period drama. This isn’t a typical “haunted house movie” or “ghost story” either, and there is absolutely nothing corny about it. Kidman, of all cast members, delivers a fantastic performance (as usual). The film tells the haunting tale of a woman who returns to her mansion, after her husband begins to fight in World War II, with her two young children, who are highly sensitive to light stronger than that given off by a candle, and an elderly woman serving as a nanny. The terror begins when her two children begin claiming to see “ghosts”, which at first she does not believe, but is eventually forced to, when she sees no coincidence between her children’s tellings and the evidence of intruders in the house. If there’s one horror movie that should have been won the awards for (at least) Best Cinematography, Best Visual Effects, and Best Sound Editing at the Academy Awards, THE OTHERS is that film. It creates enough suspense and terror to keep you on the edge of your seat for the whole, entire feature. It is a definite must-see.
Grace: “LEAVE US IN PEACE!”
GRADE: A

NOTE: Not to be confused with THE OTHER (1972).

Posted in Drama, Horror, Thriller, [Alpha], [Film Reviews]
25 Sep 2011
2 Comments

Review: THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE

Father Moore: “There are forces surrounding this trial…dark, powerful forces.”
Starring Jennifer Carpenter as the title character, THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE is 25% courtroom drama, 25% psychological horror, 25% supernatural mystery, and 25% rip-off of THE SIXTH SENSE. It isn’t the most original film, as it seems like an homage to previous demonic, exorcism-related films (i.e. THE OMEN, THE EXORCIST); but that is made up for by the suspenseful cinematographic experience, the ingeniously-tackled camera angles, the solid performances by actors such as Tom Wilkinson and Campbell Scott, and the flummoxing plot of the entire feature. That said, this is not a film I would watch again; but it was not one of those cases when I’ve wanted to raise torches and pitchforks for “PG-13 horror”, because this proved that a PG-13 rating does not automatically make a horror movie dull and stupid.
Jason: “Emily?”
Emily Rose: “DON’T TOUCH ME!!!……Jason, please…don’t leave me!”
GRADE: B

Posted in Crime, Drama, Horror, Mystery, [Alpha], [Film Reviews]
24 Sep 2011

Review: BATMAN & ROBIN

Robin: “I want a car!  Chicks dig the car!”
Batman: “This is why Superman works alone.”
Now starring George Clooney as the first title “hero” (as Chris O’Donnell reprises his role as the second), BATMAN & ROBIN is flawed on so many levels: For starters, it makes BATMAN FOREVER, in its mediocrity, look like THE DARK KNIGHT. Second of all, Uma Thurman, for her role as Poison Ivy, uses the exact (exact!) tactics that Michelle Pfeiffer used for her role as Catwoman in BATMAN RETURNS, and those tactics are surely no longer sexy at all. Third, Arnold Schwarzenegger was poorly, poorly miscast for the role of Mr. Freeze, and it makes him look like a terrible actor–the stupid punning he does throughout the film makes him look even more terrible. Also, BATMAN & ROBIN was Warner Bros.’s idea to veer the “Batman” films into a “family movie” zone. I found it ridiculous that to make it into a family film, they decided they should make the action sequences look corny rather than smooth, and to add in a bunch of childish humor spoken by Robin. In addition to that, George Clooney, Chris O’Donnell, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Uma Thurman, and Alicia Silverstone need some serious lobotomies. Even if some of their careers are alive again today, this film murdered their acting careers, and I feel so much pity. I could go on and on, but the bottom line, if I hadn’t made it clear enough yet, is do not see this film. It is ridiculously stupid and unimaginably terrible.
Mr. Freeze: “Freeze in hell, Batman!”
GRADE: F

Posted in Action, Family, Mystery, [Alpha], [Film Reviews]
23 Sep 2011

Review: THE WATERBOY

Bobby: “It’s clean…it’s cold…now that’s what I call high-quality H2O.”
THE WATERBOY is a dumb football farce and just another predictable Adam Sandler comedy. It was possible to laugh in some scenes, but this, overall, was not very funny. It stars Adam Sandler as the title role, a 31-year-old named Bobby Boucher with the obnoxious voice of a 10-year-old, who has been bringing water to football teams for a lot of his life. He becomes angry when he is insulted early on, and he tackles the man who insulted him quite hard, leading the football team’s coach to believe he is fit for the team. The problem is he is true to his “mama”, who says he cannot play football and that it is “the devil” (like almost everything else, in her opinion). I would not recommend this is you can stand 90 minutes of asinine, juvenile humor. Otherwise, go ahead–you’ll laugh a lot.
Bobby: “Look who’s on TV, Mama…it’s the Devil.”
GRADE: C

Posted in Comedy, Sports, [Alpha], [Film Reviews]
17 Sep 2011

Review: THE GREEN MILE

Paul Edgecomb: “Your name is John Coffey?”
John Coffey: “Yes sir boss. Like the drink, only not spelled the same.”
Based on one of Stephen King’s few non-horror novels, THE GREEN MILE is a long, moving, poignant prison drama with an interesting fantasy twist. Starring Tom Hanks and Michael Clarke Duncan, it tells the story of Paul Edgecomb, a guard working at a prison where a man named John Coffey is brought into custody. Though he has been convicted of brutally murdering two girls, Paul soon enough discovers that John has a special healing power and really comes across as a kind man. Though clearly demented at some points in the plot, THE GREEN MILE was overall a great film. I plan on reading the serial novel on which it is based sometime soon, as it is sitting on my bookshelf, collecting dust and waiting patiently to be read; but as for a recommendation for anyone who hasn’t seen this, see it. I can’t guarantee you’ll like it–there’s always a movie not to like, after all–and I can’t exactly guarantee you’ll make it through the entire three hours and eight minutes, but it is most certainly worth a try. Rent it on Netflix, find it broken up in segments on YouTube, find it on TV, get it On Demand, buy it–whatever. Just make sure you see this film.
Dean Stanton: “What did you do?”
John Coffey: “I helped Del’s mouse become a circus mouse. Gonna live in a mouse city down in…”
Brutus “Brutal” Howell: “Florida?”
John Coffey: [nods] “Boss Percy bad. He mean. He stepped on Del’s mouse. I took it back, though…”
GRADE: A

Posted in Crime, Drama, Fantasy, [Alpha], [Film Reviews]
17 Sep 2011

Review: SOURCE CODE

Bottom Line: Perplexing, overrated, and reminding of Groundhog Day.

Thrilling and complex, SOURCE CODE is a smooth combination of INCEPTION, FLIGHTPLAN, and GROUNDHOG DAY, with a slight romantic twist to it, as well. It could have been a lot longer, but that’s not to say it was too short–excluding the credits, it ran for an hour and twenty-seven minutes, which isn’t too bad, especially since everything was explained well in just that amount of time. Sometimes, to look at the disappointing side, the film just seemed like a feature-length ad for multiple products, as from beginning to end, it appeared as if there were Dunkin’ Donuts logos and Coca-Cola labels flying across the camera like a crazy GEICO commercial, but beyond that, this was a decent science fiction thriller with a nice, smooth, even plot (if complex), and an overall all right ending. I’d recommend it, because it’s great like INCEPTION, because of the complex plot and the whole “second reality”-type thing (or simply “dreams” in INCEPTION, similarly); but unlike INCEPTION, it’s less of a saga, and it’s much easier to sit through.
GRADE: B

Posted in Action, Mystery, Romance, Science Fiction, Thriller, [Alpha], [Film Reviews]
11 Sep 2011

Review: AUSTRALIA

Lady Sarah Ashley: “Just because it is, doesn’t mean it should be.”
Set in World War II, AUSTRALIA is a long but intriguing epic. It stars Nicole Kidman as Lady Sarah Ashley, a widowed English aristocrat who inherits an enormous cattle station, and Hugh Jackman as Drover, her husband’s helper. The film, overall, seems historically accurate (i.e. the bombing of Darwin by the same Japanese forces that had bombed Pearl Harbor shortly before), and I liked how Baz Luhrmann, the director, decided to combine both war and romance into one film, as he did direct a few other romance films such as ROMEO + JULIET and MOULIN ROUGE!, but had no past experience with the war genre. I also liked the recurring reference to Judy Garland’s signature piece “Over the Rainbow”, as well as the film it was written for, THE WIZARD OF OZ. Overall, this was quite an enjoyable film. Like many other epics (to name a few: TITANIC, AVATAR, THE LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy, GONE WITH THE WIND, etc.), it was significantly long, but it was never dull enough to give up on interesting its audience. So if you want a film that delivers consistent acting, decent cinematography, and a historical storyline, watch AUSTRALIA.
Lady Sarah Ashley: “Let’s go home.”
Drover: “There’s no place like it.”
GRADE: B

Posted in Action, Drama, Epic, Romance, War, [Alpha], [Film Reviews]

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