Cinemaniac Reviews

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Archive for the month “March, 2012”

31 Mar 2012
2 Comments

Scoop

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Bottom Line: Shockingly unfunny Woody comedy.

“This guy’s the son of a lord! He’ll take us to the tower of London and behead us!” –Woody Allen as Sid “Splendini” Waterman

Directed by: Woody Allen
Starring: Hugh Jackman, Ian McShane, Scarlett Johansson, Woody Allen

The above line is about the funniest line you’ll find in this disappointing, odd Woody mystery-comedy about Sondra (Scarlett Johansson), a young journalism student. She is called up as a volunteer at a children’s magic show put on by Sid Waterman (Woody Allen), who is using the stage name “Splendini”. When she is put in a Chinese box as an illusion, she sees a departed journalist named Joe Strombel (Ian McShane). Strombel tells her of a scoop she has to investigate, about Peter Lyman (Hugh Jackman), an alleged serial killer. She decides to use a false name when tracking down Peter, but when she finds him…he strikes her as attractive, and they start up a relationship.

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Posted in Comedy, Fantasy, Mystery, Romance, [Film Reviews] and tagged
31 Mar 2012
10 Comments

Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore

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Bottom Line: A reason to love Scorsese; it will “live” on as a classic.

“Shoot the dog! Shoot the dog!” –Alfred Lutter as Alice’s son

Directed by: Martin Scorsese
Starring: Alfred Lutter, Ellen Burstyn, Kris Kristoffen, Mia Bendixsen

Seriocomic road movie about Alice Hyatt (Ellen Burstyn), a woman who has always dreamed of becoming a singer. (This is made clear in the opening WIZARD OF OZ-esque scene.) She is thirty-five years old, driven crazy by her obnoxious twelve-year-old son, and the only thing that is holding her life together is her husband, who she hates to begin with. This all changes when her husband dies in a car accident. Alice has lost the majority of her money, forcing her and her son to take on an interminable road trip. Not only is this a gateway for more stress, the trip provides Alice a job and man or two, and her son a girlfriend of sorts that is just as bad as he is–if not, worse.

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Posted in Comedy, Cult, Drama, Romance, [Film Reviews] and tagged
30 Mar 2012
5 Comments

The Passion of the Christ

Bottom Line: If you’re a “passionate” Christian, watch it immediately. Otherwise, skip it.

[in Aramaic] “Father, into your hands…I commend my spirit.” –Jim Caviazel as Jesus Christ

Directed by: Mel Gibson
Starring: Jim Caviezel, Maia Morgenstern, Monica Bellucci

This film has left me speechless, unsure of where to begin, so I’ll start off the review by quoting Roger Ebert, perhaps the most respected critic of today’s world. His review contains a postscript, part of which reads: “I said the film is the most violent I have ever seen. … The MPAA’s R rating is definitive proof that the organization either will never give the NC-17 rating for violence alone, or was intimidated by the subject matter.” Never before have I found the words of any film critic more agreeable. The MPAA gave this an R certificate “for sequences of graphic violence.” That alone sounds terribly harsh, but it’s not enough. I can’t picture from any angle why on Earth the MPAA would give this an R rating; it is near-constant torture. My best guess would be because of marketing purposes. Had this been rated NC-17, not nearly as many people would have gone to see it; not nearly as many people would have experienced Mel Gibson’s horrendously poignant film adaptation of the Gospel. Ironically, it is the highest-grossing R-rated film to date.

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Posted in Drama, Epic, History, [Film Reviews] and tagged
29 Mar 2012
4 Comments

Screenplay in Progress

I’m working on a screenplay entitled “The Darkroom”.  It’s (somewhat subtly) an homage to 1950s horror.  Click here to read the first fifteen pages I have down.  Also, feel free to tell me if you love it or if you hate it.  It doesn’t matter to me–actually, what you think helps me make it better.  Also note that my writing on this screenplay will NOT take up my blogwriting time.

Posted in [Miscellaneous]
24 Mar 2012
6 Comments

Manhattan

Bottom Line: HYSTERICAL Woody Allen masterpiece!

Directed by: Woody Allen
Starring: Diane Keaton, Mariel Hemingway, Woody Allen

Subtly sarcastic Woody comedy (what other kind is there?) about Isaac (Woody Allen himself), a forty-two-year-old man living in Manhattan. His wife, Jill (a young Meryl Streep), has recently left him for another woman and begun to write a book regarding their divorce, so he is now dating a seventeen-year-old high school girl named Tracy (Mariel Hemingway). A bit contrary to what we would expect, she is madly in love with him, but he doesn’t quite care for her. Then, Isaac meets Mary (Diane Keaton), the mistress of his best friend Yale (Michael Murphy). The two immediately fall in love, while Isaac attempts to keep it a secret from Tracy.

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Posted in Comedy, Drama, Romance, [Film Reviews] and tagged
24 Mar 2012
8 Comments

Jane Eyre

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Bottom Line: Adaptation number umpteen. Maybe a bit sad it was overlooked.

Directed by: Cary Joji Fukunaga
Starring: Jamie Bell, Mia Wasikowska, Michael Fassbender

There are only two ways to categorize classic literature when analyzing how it is adapted. There are those that have been adapted more than a few times (Bram Stoker’s Dracula) and those that are still awaiting their first rendition (J.D. Salinger’s Catcher in the Rye). Charlotte Brontë’s Jane Eyre has taken the first category further than any other novel. Cary Joji Fukunaga’s (I won’t bother with that name) 2011 adaptation of the novel is the sixteenth motion picture rendition.

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Posted in Drama, Romance, [Film Reviews] and tagged
23 Mar 2012
32 Comments

The Hunger Games

Bottom Line: The Hunger Games is a dark, pulse-pounding adventure; true victory that will leave you “hungry” for more.

“Katniss Everdeen, the girl on fire!” –Stanley Tucci as Caesar Flickerman

Directed by: Gary Ross
Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Liam Hemsworth

Edge-of-your-seat sci-fi thriller about Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence), a teenage girl caring dearly for her twelve-year-old sister. In the world in which the story takes place, there are twelve districts, and Katniss lives in number twelve. These twelve districts each have one male and female representative in a reality TV show revolving around The Hunger Games, a tournament where all 24 of them must fight to the death, with only one victor. After her little sister is selected to participate, Katniss volunteers to replace her and compete with Peeta (Josh Hutcherson), the male competitor from District 12.

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Posted in Action, Adventure, Drama, Science Fiction, Thriller, [Film Reviews] and tagged
22 Mar 2012
18 Comments

Green Lantern

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Bottom Line: Hulk smash this dumb twit!

Directed by: Martin Campbell
Starring: Blake Lively, Peter Sarsgaard, Ryan Reynolds

Warning: Massive rant ahead.

Ho-hum comic book movie about Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds), an everyday businessman who seems a bit rock n’ roll to be the center of a super hero movie. He is given a suspiciously mystical green lantern by a purple alien and doesn’t know how on Earth to use it. So he begins talking to it, and after it fails to work for him, he starts cursing at it. Then, the lantern spits out a ring. Now, Hal Jordan has special powers generated by crappy special effects.

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Posted in Action, Adventure, Fantasy, Science Fiction, Thriller, [Film Reviews] and tagged
22 Mar 2012
6 Comments

Rango

NOTE: This review regards the “extended version” released on DVD and Blu-Ray with an additional four minutes.

Bottom Line: Fun for older audiences, but not much humor here for kids to get.

“I couldn’t help but notice you noticing me noticing you.” –Johnny Depp as Rango

Directed by: Gore Verbinski
Starring: Isla Fisher, Johnny Depp, Timothy Olyphant

Hysterically funny family Western about Rango (Johnny Depp), a timid chameleon who accidentally finds himself in an Old Western town called Dirt. The town is suffering of a near-drought, and unbeknownst of Rango, they are in search of a new sheriff. Everything changes when Rango barely wins a fight against Dirt’s most feared creature–and becomes sheriff.

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Posted in Action, Adventure, Animation, Comedy, Family, [Film Reviews] and tagged
21 Mar 2012
8 Comments

Casablanca

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Bottom Line: Casablanca is slow and melodramatic, yes, but otherwise powerful and timeless.

“Here’s lookin’ at you, kid.” –Humphrey Bogart as Rick Blaine

Directed by: Michael Curtiz
Starring: Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman, Paul Henreid

Unforgettable drama about Richard “Rick” Blaine (Humphrey Bogart), an American expatriate who is residing in the city of Casablanca in French Morocco during the earlier days of World War II. He reunites with Ilsa Lund (Ingrid Bergman), a woman he had met in Paris a while back and fallen in love with while she was under the impression that her husband had been killed. A problem arises when Ilsa has returned not by herself, but with her husband, Victor Lazslo (Paul Henreid), a Czech Resistance leader and an enemy of Rick.

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Posted in Adventure, Drama, Romance, War, [Film Reviews] and tagged

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